IT TOOK 48 YEARS TO LEARN

                                               IT TOOK 48 YEARS TO LEARN….

FOCUS ON GOALS,  IGNORE IRRITANTS

Avoid thinking and expressing dissatisfaction about irrelevant, unimportant and insignificant things. Expand this area of irrelevance, insignificance and unimportance.

HELP OTHERS TO HELP YOURSELF

Try to help others, timely. Timely help can make real difference to people.  There are many examples. Many people cannot encash opportunities because they could not get help in time and many other people even lost their lives for the same reason. Behind ever success there is always a story of receiving timely help or at least timely advice. If you cannot help at least avoid making derogatory comments on people who help others. Example:expressing passive comments on charitable institutions like Satya Sai Trust, Paripurnanada Trust etc. There may be some problems in them. But we should also express gratitude about the public good and benefits to some individuals rendered by them. Managing one's own family itself cannot be done without blemishes. So imagine running big institutions and that too voluntary organizations consisting of individuals with different cultures, backgrounds and mindsets.

SHARE THE SORROW, ENJOY  THE SUCCESS OF OTHERS EARNESTLY

Love your relations. Don’t restrict your love to only your spouse, children and grand children. This is not exactly love but selfishness with some motive of return. Expand this love to your cousins, aunts and uncles etc. Then slowly extend it to neighbours and friends. Enjoy their happy moments with them apart from helping them in need and sympathizing with them. Ironically sympathizing is easier compared to enjoying happiness because jealousy is the biggest enemy for everyone.  Then extend your love to needy and deprived people. Slowly think about loving everyone. Never think about these words as “it is easier said than done.”

CONTROL YOUR OWN DESTINY OR SOMEONE ELSE WILL…

Take responsibility for your life and be proud of it. Don’t blame others and events for your failures. It is the biggest reason for further failures in future for many people. Take control of your life,learn from mistakes. Do not repeat them. Correct them, prevent them to recur. Expand your horizon. Always think you and you alone are responsible for the failures.

LIVE IN THE PRESENT

Live in the present. Fear of future is the biggest enemy of present happiness. Always thinking about things like children’s education, marriage, promotions, ranking, health of self and parents etc. cause anxiety and eats away present happiness. Many times we are scared by imaginary future events which never really do occur. So enjoy the present, plan for the future, but do not worry about it. Events will unfold as they are destined.

WORK HARD, EARN MONEY, EAT WELL AND SAVE FOR TOMMOROW

Financial independence is fundamental to freedom of individual. Without this one cannot pursue his interests and his own way of living. He cannot act on his own thoughts because he will have to dance to the tunes of his creditors, to the people who help him and so called business partners. Without financial independence one has to live a life of parasite. For achieving financial independence there are two ways. Increasing the income, reducing the requirements or desires. Both have limits for ordinary human beings leading normal life with families. Increasing the income without crossing moral limits is very difficult but not impossible. Reducing requirements and limiting desires without compromising basic needs and satisfying near and dear is also difficult but it is also not impossible. It is very hard but it is always hard to lead a good and quality life. Srinatha and Pothana famous 15th century Telugu poets are perfect examples of the above. Even though possessed with highest levels of knowledge and earning very high income and patronage of great kings in his prime youth Srinatha had to lead pathetic life at the end as he could not control his desires or limited his requirements whereas Pothana with equal knowledge but limited income had the courage to even refuse the ,dedication of his book to the then kings but still could lead a life the way he wanted.  History always respected Pothana over Srinatha for the personal qualities. People like JRD Tata, NR Narayana Murthy, GD Birla set examples for earning money without crossing moral limits, whereas people like Swami Vivekananda, Ramakrishna Pramahamsa, Ramana Maharshi etc taught us the way to limit desires and requirements.People like Mahatma Gandhi and Balagnandhar Tilak personified both.

FEAR IS THE BIGGEST ENEMY

Fear of failure and fear of criticism are the biggest stumbling blocks for people to act and succeed at many times. But inaction is unpardonable and wrong action is only perception. People who do not act not only fail in that activity but fail in their life. But failure in action is many times a temporary setback or failure to reach the stretched goals set by you or others. Reaching 90% of goal or finishing second or third is not a failure as told by some  modern management gurus “you will still be in the pit of you cross 90%”. It is evaluation and stepping stone for further future success. Even Thomas Edison failed 1000 times before inventing electric bulb. History did not call them failures but as experiments. Abraham Lincoln failed in every election starting from ward councilor, Senator, Governor, Vice President before getting elected as President. Many students try for IIT seat or University Rank but end up getting EAMCET Rank or College Rank. But getting EAMCET Rank or College Rank are also no mean achievements. Only the people who are recognized or talked about are criticized. Criticism to be taken as a thing to be reviewed about If it is for development take it positively if not ignore it. Karma yoga teaches you to act without thinking about its results. Results include expecting praise from others for all your actions. Karma Yoga also teaches that inaction is not possible and we are always engaged in some involuntary acts like breathing or killing insects with our movements. Laziness should not be tolerated at any cost.

SPOUSE IS THE BACKBONE

Cooperation of the spouse is a prerequisite for the success of all. There is a old saying that “Behind every man's success there is a woman”. I am not sure whether these words are told in the above context or women guided or at least acted as catalysts in the man's success. Cooperation of the spouse does not guarantee success or development but non cooperation of spouse certainly leads to not realizing full potential or not reaching the goal and becomes hindrance in the path. This should be kept in mind always by any partner who wishes the welfare of the other.

FAMILY IS INSURANCE

One thing we Indians always take as a matter of routine is our parents living together always even though there are some differences exist between them. But it is not as common as we feel if we take the situation prevailing in many parts of the world. Parents living together is the root cause of success of Indian children and we are always at advantage with the family as a pillar of strength behind us. If there are any doubts just read biography of Barack Obama, President of US. Just observe how fortunate we Indians are before cursing our customs and superstitions. We can always rely on family for support in case if conditions are adverse. This is the best and cheapest insurance available anywhere in the world.  Togetherness is happiness not only for us but also for our future generation.

How much is too much? How long is too long?

How much you earn determines the comfort in life, never the quality of life                      

                                                                                -Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev                 

                                                                   

At 75 Russi Modi chairman of Tata Steel was asked to step-down in 1990s. There was lot of resistance from him and ultimately Tata Steel rules had to be amended to remove him for making way to younger generation. That time some articles appeared in press regarding retirement. One of the arguments that attracted me was that Indians plan poorly for retirement. The same article says Indians plan financials very well after retirement but they don’t plan for spending the time after retirement. Just because they have nothing else to do they try to cling to the chair. An astonishing fact in a land that taught Karma with detachment, work without desire.

In fact Indians don’t plan finances either. They just save and don’t plan. They save sometime at the cost of present. Their savings does not result in portfolio. Generally many middle class, higher middle class people save in real estate, gold, Bank FDs and insurance policies popularized and publicized by known people. They spend disproportionately for education of their children, buying home and marriages of their children. All these they think they are doing for the welfare of the children. Doing good to others including your own children at the cost of your own basic needs is a sin according to Hindu Law. This is also is sign of weakness due to excessive attachment. For example we are having lot of politicians who are blemish less till the other day involved in misdeeds for furthering careers of  the children. Satyam Ramalinga Raju had very good name internationally till he tried to save Maytas of his sons. His fate also got reversed like the name of the company. Truth (Satyam) also collapsed like a pack of cards.

The biggest problem and root of many evils like dowry, corruption and black money lies in the unacceptably higher attachment Indian parents have for their children. They want safety, security, better life for not only their children but also for children of generations to come. Love and affection for children is indeed needed. Spending for them to make worthwhile children is needed even for the society but paying even for their misdeeds and to see them happy at any cost is deplorable. Adding to this it makes your real requirement of money uncertain as no one can predict the requirement of others including their children precisely. Because of this they try to earn as much as possible and at any cost even if it meant taking the wrong path. One has to make his child worthy rather than wealthy to lead a happy life.  If we analyze some middle class families we can observe one more thing recently. Father spends miserly and saves lot of money in the form of real estate and gold, then gives it to one or more sons. Sons also have their own well earned jobs, does not touch the father’s property but adds to it and only increase their mental balance of assets. It is especially more prevalent nowadays as in the most the middle class families where both spouses are earning members. It results in dilapidated houses without maintenance, locked apartments in the urban areas   and gold in bank lockers which are rarely opened thus wasting lot of resources. It is no different form black money. Imagine all this money invested properly and in circulation, used for investment and creating employment for the nation. Apart from the traditional preference of gold and real estate by Indians as the country entered very late into industrial revolution widely fluctuating equity markets, poorly managed mutual funds, low returns on bank deposits and looting the hard earned money by some non banking financial companies are also main reason for the above situation. Non compliance of tax and relevant building laws as accepted norm of society, lack of transparency in real estate dealings also results in apparent high returns and safety of real estate investments. Here Government, RBI and Industrialists have some responsibility to shift the savings from traditional areas.

Making child worthy has another advantage. Many people try to justify the excessive earnings and thrifty spending to save money for taking care of their old age needs. Poor people who have to really fear for the old age requirements can not save at their young age. Financial savings alone can not make the old age safe. Many of the wealthy parents are nowadays complaining that their children are not treating them properly or they had gone to far off greener pastures like USA leaving them alone. Emotional needs also have to be fulfilled apart from financial needs especially in later years of life. Our grandparents never felt this insecurity. S.Gurumurthy, noted chartered accountant, columnist for Indian Express writes that traditional family values like Matrudevobhava, Pitrudevobahava are the best for social security instead of relying on social security provided by the Government. Disastrous effects of social security policies of USA, people relying on social security provided by state resulted in largest external debt. If a well developed country faces this situation imagine the effects of broken family values in countries like India. Increasing demand for old age homes is a big cause for concern. In this we should never imitate the west for our own sake. Our schools should stop teaching a big family, small family concept. Small family consists of mother, father and children. Inclusion of even grandparents makes it big. Uncles, Aunts and cousins have no place in any family. With this type of thinking it is no wonder that people feel so insecure. Lack of good health insurance policies and perception of Indians that insurance also is another investment rather than hedge against risk is the reason for health insurance becoming not so popular in India.

Another reason for old generation not living happily with their children is after working at decision making levels for long years at both office and home they are not able to leave that habit to children creating ripples in the family. This is also in sharp contrast to our grandparent’s time.

Another category of people simply accumulate wealth without any motive. They neither invest in productive assets nor make donations to charitable institutions. They don’t even like to part even with their loved ones. This is simply madness without even method.

It is very common now to see people working at even the age of 70 even though really they don’t neither need the job anymore for financial reasons nor it is giving professional satisfaction. Their only justification is that they have nothing else to do. It is a pity that so called intellectual people in seventy years of their life only thing they had learnt is they have nothing else to do except working in offices. For example a simple observation around society will reveal that grandparents not performing their role towards grand children is one of main reasons for depleting values in society. Most of these people are exploited and humiliated in such a way that they are paid even one fifth or one tenth of the salary they used to get before retirement for the same job i.e. they are selling their time and skill very cheaply.

The above thinking is due to the fact that in their active life they never thought about anything except office. They did not even spend quality time with their family or for simple exercises or intellectual, physical or spiritual advancements. Indians generally think hard working means working 24x7 without taking holidays. Another problem is that they don’t delegate for fear of losing recognition. Both will make them crippled in the later years of their life apart from making them unhealthy. If you read biography of successful industrialists or professionals they had enjoyed weekends always and did many more things apart from professional. For example our missile man and former President Kalam is as knowledgeable about politics, philosophy, current affairs and socio economic situation as in science. Putting all your eggs in one basket will be disastrous.

It is very pertinent to mention two real experiences described in two great books written by modern day personality development gurus Mr. Stephen Covey and Mr. Dale Carnegie. Stephen Covey in his personal message in the book of Seven habits of highly effective families quotes the address of former first lady of USA Barbara Bush “As important as your obligations as doctor, lawyer or business leader will be, you are human being first, and those human connections- with spouses, with children with friends- are the most important investments you will ever make. At the end of your life you will not regret not having passed one more test not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child, a friend or a parent…. Our success as a society depends not on what happens in white house but on what happens inside your home”. Remember Mrs. Barbara Bush is wife of one president and mother of another president.

Mr. Dale Carnegie narrates the life of richest man ever lived on this planet. John          D Rock feller Sr in the true stories sectiono at the end of the book How to stop worrying and start living. John D Rock feller Sr. had accumulated his first million dollars at the age of thirty three. At the age of forty three he had built up the largest monopoly the world has ever seen. The great Standard Oil company. But where was he at fifty three. Worry and high tension living without humor and family life had already wrecked his health. At fifty three he “looked like a mummy” says his biographer. Rock feller had once confessed that he wanted to be loved yet he was so cold and suspicious that few people even liked him. He felt at 53 he lived on borrowed years of life and he was looking like 75. He retired. He learned to play golf. He went in for gardening. He started chatting with his neighbors. He played games. He sang songs. He did something else too. He began to give his billions away to the needy people. He established great international foundation, The Rock feller foundation. He had so changed that he did not even lose one night sleep when he was forced to accept the greatest legal defeat and was ordered to pay the heaviest fine in history. He had his happiest years only after 53. It is recommended to read the full story in the book.   

    

 A word of caution here. It is fashionable nowadays to take any argument to its extremes. So it should not be misunderstood that people should not have motivation to earn, motivation to work and motivation to save. Excessive spending, wastage of resources and leading lazy lives without contributing to any value addition in life are the worst sins any human can commit. It is written only to caution against saving money without re investing in productive assets, earning by sacrificing the present for the sake of never realized future and losing sight of work life balance and family pleasures.

I would like to conclude with euphemism frequently heard now a days. Any thing which is told for better and good living in this is life is called philosophy. Now a days materialism is defined as living in his own way not bound by family, moral, traditional or societal values and not even legal restrictions if possible. Anything less than this is described as philosophical. This is the greatest disservice to great materialistic thinkers like Ravindranath Tagore or Jawaharlal Nehru. Any authoritative thinker on Hinduism does not even consider Mahabharata or Ramayana as philosophical texts. Only Vedas and Upanishads are authoritative philosophical texts on Hinduism. If better and happy living in this life is considered  as philosophical then what about advaitic philosophy that teaches Purusha and Brahma are one and the same. It cannot even be imagined. It is no wonder that we are not believing this theory because we don’t  even deserve to believe that let alone live like that.